Anger is a common emotion expressed by seriously ill patients and their families. When they first confronted with the fact that he has an illness that will bring about death, they will be surprise and don’t want to believe this truth. The most immediate response is “This can’t be true” or “This can’t be happening to me.” The fact of one’s impending death is experienced as unreal and impossible.
Anger can often be a cover-up emotion for a lot of other negative feelings. Your loved one may be both bitter, fearful, regretful and sad at the same time. This is his way of dealing emotionally with his situation, and sadly, he takes his pain out on the ones closest to him.
So, to deal with this kind of people when they experience the fear of death?
Maintain adult-adult communication
The basic family communication patterns are adult-child and adult-adult. Paternalistic physicians frequently use adult-child communication; the physician has power and the patient does not. Adult-child communication heightens that sense of regression and powerlessness. Paternalistic physicians should not be shocked when patients focus their anger at them. Their communication style may be precipitating the emotional outburst.
A dying person wants control of themselves, their life, and their decisions as long as they still live. Empowering a dying person to make their own decisions, express their feelings, and remain as independent as possible is an important way to help them overcome their anger.
Don’t personalize the patient’s anger
The dying patients have tendency to blame anyone near them when they are in angry state. Actually, you should understand that you do not make anything wrong. That’s only the way they relieve stress, because they got angry at unexpected illness, not you. These responses are usually counterproductive. Consider how the patient might act under less stress.
Recognize the direction of anger.
Recognizing the difference between internal and external anger is critical to manage effectively, because internal anger may lead to potentially harmful patient consequences. When the patient directs anger internally because of the fear. This can lead to withdrawal, self-neglect, anxiety, depression, or a combination of these. Others direct their anger outward at physicians, hospitals, family members or a deity. Particularly in the case of an angry parent of a dying child, they may feel helpless and guilty about many things
See It From Their Point of View
You may wonder why they are angry. So, let’s see everything from their point of view. Fear is probably the most common source of anger, especially in the dying and their families – fear of the unknown, being in pain or suffering, the future well-being of family members, abandonment, leaving unfinished business, losing control of bodily functions or cognition, being a burden to the family, and dying alone. When you understand how they feel, why they act like that, you can show your empathy with them, even find a better way to cope with their anger. In addition, By displaying empathy and concern you can help the person feel understood, less abandoned and alone.
Handling their anger
Knowledge and positive action can help mitigate fears and reduce anger. How are they handling the dying, are they making concrete plans about their finances, their things, their family? Have they thought about formal counseling to help deal with the depression, the anger?
The journey from life to death almost always is accompanied by some degree of anger. No one can accept it at first, but they have to learn how to deal with that negative feelings. As well as people near them should how to treat them to help them feel better.